"MY FATHER" The person Who influenced my Life
Yuan Feng - / 2 Oct 2, 2012 #2 I think instead of starting with some generic remarks, you can try starting with an anecdote between you and your dad, as it may sounds more appealing. Also, I like the latter paragraphs as they show who you are as a person, and how your dad has influenced you. However, you need to include more details and show to admission officers how you overcame challenges and how did you feel, instead of simply stating that you have overcame many challenges.
